I’m so full of steak

Life has been pretty busy lately since my friend gave me her bad news last week. She loved the flowers.

Things are going well over here. I am in week 5 of my Kayla workouts and I am seeing changes, which is great. When I did this routine last  year, I got to the end of week 7 before going to Bonnaroo and then Hawaii, which is around the time I fell off. That means I have 3 weeks to get myself to where I was last time we hit week 7, or even better.

So, to help things along, I am working out 5 days a week. I do Kayla 3x a week and cardio at least twice a week when not doing Kayla. I would like to workout 6x a week, but 5 is my goal for now. I am also, this week, eating mainly only protein. It’s a quick way to drop some bloating and get myself away from carbs. I did however eat too much last night… my steak for dinner was way too big and I’m like still full. I’m definitely not going to lose weight if I gorge myself on red meat.. but it was delicious.

Lastly, I am not drinking alcohol until Brendan’s birthday. That would be a 12 day hiatus, which will be the longest I’ve gone in awhile. I want to see how I physically change w/o booze. My face will thin further and I won’t be bloated. I think I’ll get to bed early and wake up earlier (I’m still waiting on that), and I’ll save money. But all of that is secondary to how it’ll help my progress.

Truly I wanted to be alcohol free for all of April, but I drank on Easter and last Friday because Mark came home and we went out. My friend was like, “Ché! What about BK’s birthday???” And she’s right – I want to go out that night. So we’ll stick to 12 days, break for Brendan, and then jump back on.

My plan is to also weigh myself on Brendan’s birthday and see where I’m at…. I have a goal in  mind and I also am horrified of weighing myself, so all of that fear and terror combined will hopefully keep me on track.

Also, I am not smoking. I really think I’m going to die of lung cancer. I smoked for soo long. I literally can not smoke anymore because I feel like I am choosing to die and I really don’t want to die! I am going to get a physical sometime this year and hopefully they will tell me if I’m dying or not.

So Britt and I are extending our lease through the end of June. We didn’t know we could do that, and as Mark put it, it’s a blessing.

1) Brittany and Eric want to move into a one-bedroom in our complex, but nothing is available until July 1st. With a May 31st move-out date, the two weren’t sure what to do. Britt desperately didn’t want to rent a storage unit, transport everything out of the apt, move into my Mom’s house and then move everything back a month later. What a hassle that would be.

2) Mark is working, and will be working until late May. His plan was to leave Hawaii the week we were moving, but that meant he would be running around like a crazy person trying to pack, help me pack and move everything in. We still need to get a couch and other furniture, and we haven’t even had an opportunity to walk through anywhere. Plus I’ve been searching for a while and haven’t found anything I love.

By moving our date back a month, Mark will be home and able to look at apartments with me, pick out furniture and pack everything up without also needing to run back and forth to work for weeks at a time. It’s just been too much to juggle. Britt can stay in the apartment for another month and then move everything two buildings over, which is a lot easier. It’s the perfect solution.

So I’ve stopped looking at apartments for now, which I’m grateful for! I’ll start again in May. Also, this means by the time we have our lease signed in June, I’ll know if I’m getting a raise and a bonus, so I’ll be able to better budget and plan for everything we need to buy.

We have a Bwood family reunion Memorial Day weekend in Maryland. Mark’s coming!! Hopefully, anyway. I’m excited. He really loves me and I love him. I am seriously on cloud 9 with him lately. I just don’t know how we got so lucky. Truly blessed by this person.

Also, his resume is made and the job search is on. I am so glad to hear he is happy to leave and ready to move on. This has been a long time coming. I had a mini melt down on Easter, and I told him everything I was feeling. He responded so amazingly well. Now, we are creating a plan and moving forward and I think there is a lot of good coming our way.

I have plans this weekend but I have already decided to cancel all of them.

Happy Wednesday


I am still sick, but now my cough is 100% worse. I am tired during the day, and fevery at night. Spring can’t come soon enough!

This weekend was fine- Friday I went to dinner with Britt and Eric, Saturday I hung with Maureen.

Sunday Britt, Eric, John, Nicole and I went to the parade. It was freezing and snowing. We were there for a few hours when I was like, I’m really cold and over this, I want to head back. Everyone was on the same page, so we walked home, and Falco met at our house, and we went for dinner at St. Stephens. I was in bed by 9.

It was uneventful and fine, and probably my last time. I’m so grossed out by the majority of the people there, and don’t find it fun anymore- of course I had a great time with my friends, but we don’t need to hang outside in the snow surrounded by green-covered monsters to have fun. C’es la vie.

Apartment hunting is hard when you have no idea where you want to move. I am looking all over “central north” jersey, and I’m writing down apartments I think seem good. Mark and I will need to take a weekend in April and drive to these places and make a decision, but he doesn’t even know half of the towns I’m not considering. He’s been working for a while, and we haven’t been able to catch each other in the last 3 days. He needs to come home now- I’m over this.

I decorated my cube, and it looks great. I really like it and will post pictures eventually for memory’s sake.

I’m Excited

over a report I just wrote filled with a business case for and suggestions on changing our email subject lines. I know- it’s exciting. I also made a few Excel charts that break our User Help Requests into different themes, to help us better visualize where our users are having the most trouble. I hope they both get positive responses. Sometimes putting myself out there really leaves me feeling so vulnerable, and all I want to do is impress these new people like I did at my old job. The key to success, I’ve found, is to make yourself absolutely invaluable.

I like this stuff. I like data, taking numbers and making sense out of them. I don’t like math. No. But I like making decisions and educated assumptions based on aggregate data.

I am thinking about a future in Marketing. Not writing copy all day, but deciphering marketing campaigns, reading and understanding user response to our campaigns, and determining where to go – the strategy behind marketing.

I could always get my MBA in a marketing concentration. Oh IDK. I am thinking about talking to my boss about getting my MBA after a year here. That’s been my plan all along- find myself in a position or with a company I want to stay at for several years, and then go back to school. But to actually do it- ugh what a commitment.

For some reason though, I really want my MBA. I feel like it’ll bring more value to me, and I would be proud to have more than “just” an English degree. I’m not 100% okay with having “just” an English degree. Future talk.

I had to requit cigarettes this week. GOD I hate this habit. It is so hard for me to stay quit. I’ll be good for several weeks and then bum one for no reason and I’m hooked again. I’m having a craving right now. This is another good reason to abstain from booze- that stuff kills me when I’m trying to quit. At least I didn’t let my somewhat agitated state seduce me into eating more Cheetos. A girl’s gotta set limits for herself.

Personally, things are fine. I am over this weather, and Mark has been working in it, at night, all month. It makes me sad to hear him sad. I look forward to when this chapter is finished for him, whenever that may be.

We have a camping trip set up for May with Dad, Dina and the Triples. I’m looking so forward to it.

August is still Vegas. June is moving. Anything else is yet to be determined. But I want to be sure 50% of the summer is spent on the beach, so I may not be able to actually leave this little shoreline just yet.

That’s the extent of it for now.

Back to life, back to reality

I drank too much this week. I still lost weight, but I didn’t intend to drink so often. Such is life,”Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.”

This week, I intend to stay dry. I intend to continue eating what I have planned to eat. Saturday is dinner and a move with Maureen, so I’ll be nice and fat then. But not until!

This week’s meals are:
Breakfast: turkey sausage, as usual

Lunch: Sun-dried tomatoes and feta stuffed pork loin, with green beans

Snacks: Turkey, Miso soup, and right now a few Cheetos

Dinner: Grass-fed, lean ground beef stuffed bell peppers.*, with broccoli

*Stuffed with garlic, onion, bell pepper, tomato sauce and ground beef

All together, my prepared food equals to just about 1,000 calories, which gives me a little extra wiggle-room when I’m craving somethingggggggg– like these Cheetos. If I don’t drink, this could be an excellent week.

I am exhausted. We stayed up to watch The Oscars last night but they ran way too late. I should have gone to bed, but I was having too much fun texting with KB and I really wanted to see the Best Actor award. I wanted the kid from Theory of Everything to win so badly, and he did! So my exhaustion is worth it.

This weekend was cool – I didn’t have any laundry to do and I tidied the apartment, and watched movies. This is an ongoing theme lately. I am loving being home alone and guiltlessly catching up on all the movies I’ve been meaning to see. Not needing to wake up early, and knowing I have no obligations, is really a favorite feeling of mine.

I went out with KB and BK on Friday. I had plans for lunch with Rick on Saturday, but he cancelled. Then I had plans with Maureen Saturday night, but after driving for an hour, I cancelled. The snow made driving my car impossible. So it’s not as if I am planning to stay home and watch movies- though that would be okay- but it’s more due to the horribly frozen tundra staring at me from my bedroom window.

Yesterday I slipped on ice and fell in the parking lot. It’s not worth the risk! Back to bed!

I wish I was back in bed now.

The Feeling

It’s a fire, originating in your heart, moving straight up to your head. Past your face, where it lingers enough to give it a light buzz, and up to your brain. The fire roars inside your chest, down to your stomach, making your arms and shoulders warm. Your face is warm. Your body buzzes. It’s like electricity paired with flames. Your eyes are half open. You feel excited, and happy. At peace. You feel like talking a mile a minute. Almost like being on cocaine, except you could fall asleep if you wanted. It reminds you of being in love. This feeling. And you see why and how it is so addicting. And then, you feel slight remorse as it ceases to intensify. Like a ball thrown in the air, it only goes so high until it stops completely, midair. After that moment, it’ll only go downward. That’s where you are. You’re midair, as high as you can get, expecting nothing less. And then you begin to fall.

I don’t think I have time to shower and I’m looking forward to eating

I’m been feeling good lately. Not so sad or longing.

Kari came over last night and I drank a lot of wine. Ended up subscribing to so many bands on Pollstar. Freaking JOHN VANDERSLICE is playing in New York this week and I’m going to miss it. I didn’t know! So I Pollstarred him for future notice.

I’m looking at the rest of my week:
School today, work tomorrow, Meeting and work Saturday..
It all seems so routine.

Field sobriety test

One of my life goals was to be given a field sobriety test by a cop during a moment where I had had a few drinks but couldn’t actually be arrested. Tonight I achieved this.

We met a bunch of Asbury cops tonight. After spending some time with them, as we were getting ready to leave, I asked them to give me a field sobriety test. I told them to forget they knew me and treat me like they would if they had just pulled me over. And they did.

Those things are hard!

And guess what- four beers in and I failed. Then, as I finished, I was walking and (since I was wearing a pair of Kari’s boot, which are really slippery) I slipped and fell in the parking lot. They told me that I failed in that moment alone and that they would have put in their police report, “While smoking a cigarette, she fell.”

It just made me realize that no, even if I feel fine, I wouldn’t be able to sober up enough, if I got pulled over, to pass a sobriety test. I always thought getting pulled over would sober me up immediately. Good thing I have had a 2 beer cap when driving for the past year or so. Also, they said my eyes were glazed and bloodshot enough to have probable cause to give me a test. But they also told me that my breath didn’t smell like beer because I had smoked a cigarette.. so that logic is still intact.

Anyway- that was fun. I also tried to ‘resist arrest’ and I would have been really good at it if Rachel didn’t step in because she’s all ‘women’s lib’ and shit. Regardless.. I had a life goal accomplished tonight. Makes up for the goal I didn’t accomplish tonight- getting my name in movie credits.

And I had fun with Rachel, Rachael, and Steph.