I am stuck here, for an unknown amount of time, and I have worked myself to the point of having just a moment to stop and think. Today was incredibly busy, which I am always a fan of – busy is good. Time flies, and you feel accomplished. But, now I have a few seconds as I wait on something.
You know what I find most interesting; that instant connection you sometimes have with people that is undeniable. I’m talking like a severe attraction to them that you cannot explain. I think its completely biological; these people don’t have to be the most good looking, or the smartest, they may not dress the way you want or even live the type of life you’re after, but you can’t help the sparks that fly. It’s always obvious with these people – you stand really close, you touch, you swarm them whenever they’re around- and they you.
I’ve had this connection with several people and it’s just absolutely impossible to ignore. When I was young, I would pursue these people – just for whatever. To hang out, make out, or what have you. But… what happens after you are settled in. Settled down with the last person you’re ever going to sleep with, or be with. The individuals with that biological, magnetic pull will still pass through your life. I think that’s when it’s decision making time; do not go out of your way to see them, talk to them. Don’t be alone with them. Don’t talk with them a lot or feed into that strange, unexplainable desire.
That’s why cheating is so easy. Of course, you don’t cheat with anyone- but if you find another of your chemistry soulmates, and you happen to be in close quarters with them often for whatever reason.. well that’s when things get dicey. That’s when good people fall to bad choices, and hearts are broken, and lust breaks up things you spent years building. I don’t think these spark-wielding people really are who we should be with, because there are tons of them. You will settle down with one person whom attracted you, and then you will go through life and meet more. And the fact is maybe you could have had a life with a few of these people… maybe you would even fallen in love and lived your life out with them. But, you don’t get to live a bunch of long, full and different lives with a bunch of long-term, different lovers. Or at least, I don’t. I think spreading your heart and your life out amongst too many people harms some major and important parts of you.
What you do, is nod- maybe think “gee what would that have been like…”, then you smile because it’s always nice to feel wanted by someone new…. and then you go back to your partner, and you remember all the millions of reasons why you did choose that person. Why you stopped chasing the fireworks and decided to invest longterm in this one, big-eyed person who made your heart beat a million miles a minute.
I wonder what creates that immediate and undeniable attraction. I do wish we could pursue every single one of them, just for the thrill. But that’s how you hurt like everyone, and I think life is just as much about jumping at opportunities as it is restraining yourself. Otherwise, you’re just kind of a selfish asshole. Don’t be an asshole.
LESSON: Don’t be an asshole.