New Sort of Way

Yesterday yoga was really hard. The guy didn’t have good music on, and the lights were on brighter than I would have liked. His voice, at times, was also a bit nasal which made me laugh. He would say, I don’t know, “And holdddd” and it would sound so obnoxious that I wanted to both roll my eyes and guffaw.

He was also very intense. He made us do so many chaturangas that it, again, made me laugh. I laughed instead of weeping. And I laughed when I looked over from my downward dog and saw Britt breathing heavily- kind of puffing- into the towel on her mat in child’s pose, with sweat absolutely pouring off her forehead. It makes me laugh now, the visual.

There were times during that practice that I wanted to never go back to yoga, “Yeah- I’m not buying a hot yoga package after this. I’m good.” Then I would laugh and drop my knees, or whatever I needed at the time, and just keep going, thinking, “This guy is so much harder than I expected- holy crap.” It’s an emotional journey sometimes. At one point, when I was doing a hip stretch, I felt a lot of endorphins release and I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or not. But when we left, I was happy I did it, of course. And it’s good to mix it up with instructors, so you know what you like and what you don’t, and so your practice gets a jolt of life into it.

Britt and I practiced headstands on Monday and we both were able to get up without the wall, so that’s cool. I have no serious ambition about becoming the next Jersey-shore yogi, but I’ll keep doing it until my Groupon expires.

After yoga and a late dinner last night, I could not fall asleep. I went to bed by 10:30 and kind of laid there. At 3:30 I woke up, and was still awake by 4. But once I did fall into a deep sleep, I dreamt of this young guy that looked kind of like Butch from Home Alone, and he was with a group of my friends, and he liked me. So we decided to hang out, and I laid on his stomach and took a nap, and he was very sweet, and we had to go to a dance later. When I woke up from my nap on Butch, it was 7 in the morning and I was in good spirits because it was lovely feeling wanted in that new-sort-of-way.

I need to start getting to work earlier. That’s a god damn promise. I need to. I also need to prepare my clothes the night before so that I look better. All these girls here are effortlessly thin and they all look put together. I know I look fine- My hair and makeup are done everyday- but I should plan my clothes a bit more. I have this bright red Calvin Klein blazer that is reminiscent of Thriller that I really want to wear, so maybe I’ll try to put an outfit together around that tonight. I’m summoning C.C. from The Nanny with that jacket.

Well, it’s officially the end of Wednesday. Tomorrow is the last day in the office. Friday Mark should be home. Saturday I hope we go see Rick’s band but we’ll see. We’re going to do Mark’s resume this weekend- we must. Must must must.

Good night- time to fly home.

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