The Year of the Now (What)

I am writing this from my new iPad, which I inherited from the office to review the work I do on the app. I’ve never really used a tablet before, but I like it.

I also have a new iPhone 6, unlimited sick days, five weeks of paid vacation, a free gym membership, and so on. These things are perks and I don’t want to turn this into a job blog, so we’re moving on to say….

I have spent so much of my time over the last 4 years job searching, that l I’m not really so sure what’s next. I need a new identity and new things to preoccupy my mind space.

For instance, I am no longer fantasizing about or pining over a higher salary; I am no longer seething over an employer who takes me for granted ( or whatever my disgruntled rumblings were ); I’m suddenly spared the time I spent worrying what to spend on groceries and wondering where I’ll get a deposit for our next apartment…

That’s a lot of brain power to replace. And I’ve thought about replacing it with a million things, and then I realized how crazy that was. I’m leaving it alone.

I am not going to worry about what’s next. I just want to chill. It took me 2 hours to get home tonight, which was unchill, then I made broccoli chicken cheddar purée, er soup, for Britt and I which took an hour or so. Then I watched Kate Plus 8 with Britt and talked on the phone with Mark, and ironed my clothes… And I was just content! Calm and content. No worries about reading before bed or doing a workout or being mad at Mark because his job bothers me. Nothing like that. I am leaving the blank space blank, and I am relaxed. Finally.

The early mornings don’t get to me, I’m relatively lively all day, i come home to a good life. I’m happy and I want to take a minute and just be instead of always thinking ahead. So if that’s my resolution fine- let this year not be filled with self-imposed worries.

Haas gets married on Saturday, Britt turns 27 in a few weeks, Mark will be home in a few days.. January is a good month, despite the cold.

And just for history’s sake, since so many of my plans fall through and live on only in here… This summer possibly Hawaii again, August is Vegas for the twins’ and Eric’s 30th birthdays, and definitely a vacation with Mark next December during our time off. Or so goes the supposed plan.

Wherever you are, be all there

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