The CHANGE

In what has been consistently great, something has changed. The turn has come.

You know the one. You can feel it. It’s kind of sudden, and there’s no going back.

The “honeymoon’s over” turn from “Oh my god we are so perfect, he is so perfect, nothing in the world could ever tear me from this” to “Oh my god, we are not perfect and damn, forever is a long time. I love you but how dumb am I to have thought we got this. We are so far from getting this.”

This relationship has been incredibly easy.

But this distance. It’s taking its toll, baby.

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Turkey and Swiss

on Rye bread. With mustard, crushed red pepper, basil if I have it, and lettuce.

When I was pulling my sandwich out of the plastic bag, with a side of Baked Cheddar Chips and a coke, I realized I am as average as they come. A normal person, making their lunch and bringing it to work to help save even the few dollars buying a lunch would cost. Saving my money, living really modestly, so much so that it’s habit now.

I’m staying in Belmar for another year. It’s like I’ve been awakened. I really love my roommates and appreciate my life. I want to continue like this for longer.

Hopefully my upcoming raise is enough to quit bartending.

One more summer at the beach with Mark, swimming and tanning all day.

Belmar is my home, and it’s where we fell in love. Every corner, when warmed, holds a memory. The memories keep me smiling when I go running.

I’m thinking next year it may make sense to consider buying a home, which is the thought that prompted this post.

Being able to leave my job and drive to the beach is such an amazing gift.

John and the shore and Mark and Main St. Cheesesteaks and Brittany if she chooses. BBQs and tomato plants.

And then, when this year ends, the things that are in store are incredibly exciting.

I want to spend my life like this, with you.