Nothing in here should ever be read, by anyone. A long time ago I started writing in here when I was overly emotional, and apparently I still do. Like most emotions, all of the exclamation points in here follow things I don’t feel anymore.
What’s left are the things that are too good to be brought up in this dirty space.
Living in Belmar, my job, Mark, my family (NO PARTICULAR ORDER). These are the frames of my happiness, they are stable pieces of my life.
But all the bullshit about feeling sad or crazy or however I worded it- that’s just the repurcussions of making bad decisions for a long time. I really think I write those things in here because I’ve been writing like that in here for so long. Coming in here is like visiting an old crack den, you instantly get the urge to hurt yourself again.
Anyway, I don’t want to sit around talking about sad feelings. I don’t mean those things. I don’t listen to sad music, I’m not trying to watch sad movies, and I’m not journaling like a tween anymore. This blog is an embarassment to me. It’s riddled with immaturity, spelling mistakes and shitty metaphors. This is nothing.
So I’m leaving this space for good. That’s not some huge proclamation, it’s just time to leave this place alone.
This journal chronicles highschool, Lee, and everything else until now. And that’s fine for memory’s sake, but…
I have not written a single thing I am proud about in here, ever. I do not know how to. I am happy everywhere in life, except for when I am in here.
So I am not going to be in here.
And that’s as much of a burial as this place deserves.
Plus, how un-mid-20-something is it to have a secret WordPress?