I just watched the new Katie Perry video and started sobbing uncontrollably at the end. I had to take myself into the bathroom. I haven’t cried that hard in who knows how long. Maybe since we broke up last.

I don’t know what’s really in my head, where I am really am or what I actually think. But when I was crying I didn’t feel hungry and I didn’t care about any of the stresses I have. I was just terribly terribly sad, and that made me feel like myself finally. I was caring about something I actually care about.

I don’t care about so much. I don’t really care about anything. I feel like I lost parts of myself. But anyway, it felt really good to cry that hard. And now I’m done crying, and I need to fix myself, before he gets here.

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