Time heals all… [21 Oct 2002|05:06pm]
[ mood | worried ]
[ music | Do Not ]
I know i havent written in a long time… lets see…
me and ryan are still together however something is going on between us. Okay I have been feelin i dunno sad lately and i totally went 2 him yesterday in hysterics and like crying my eyes out telling him how upset i was and i really dont want us to fall apart but he.. i dunno how he feels. He said everything is a mess and that he still loves me and he doesnt want 2 break up but too many ppl are involved and stuff and he said when i have 5 hours to spare hell tell me wut he means. Oh man… problems! Okay so we’ve been 2gether for 8 months and so yes i guess it is about time we have a slight blemish on our otherwise perfect
relationship but it sucks. It sucks it sucks it sucks!
People change.. its true. They say the first 6 months are perfect and then peoples real colors come through. It’s true. But Ryan is still my everything and I dont love him any less… I love him more. I dont want us 2 break up i really hope we’re okay. Im not sayin Ryan has changed im just sayin we are getin 2 see the real eachother and its causing some friction but what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger right? I love him.. and the good times we have over power these rough times. I love him.. and isnt that all that matters?
Ha. What's actually cute is reading the entries before Ryan and I ever dated because I forgot about the courting part. I remember how young and dysfunctional that relationship was but I forgot about the 7 hour phone calls through the night beforehand and how Mark helped us get together and the time I was on one phone with Mark and on the other phone with Ryan and they were yelling at one another because Ryan was too nervous to ask me on a date. Just adorable little things I'm glad 15 year old me was able to experience.
But yeah, this does totally solidify the 8 month rule. Shit gets crazy.