Yesterday I cried because I was just at the end of my rope. Incessantly exhausted, a tunnel of work to do ahead of me, uncertainty about what happens when all the work is done, and a pile of work behind me that I stepped over but still need to finish.
I just needed a hug. Instead I had Den talking to me asking “Cheblack why wouldn’t you tell me if you didn’t get the e-mail with the minutes? How are you supposed to get anything done if you don’t have the material?” And I felt like a jerk because regardless of anything, this is as much a priority as my classes or my papers. I can’t just not do something because I’m tired or lazy or whatever. Anyway he asked me if I was ok because he said I’ve been weird lately and I started crying. That’s not so strange though, I always cry if people ask me how I am and the answer isn’t “Fantastic!”. It’s a trigger. Whattamess. He called me a mess jokingly, which is why I started feeling so badly. I usually am on top of it, or at least act on top of it, but my incompetence was laid bare for a second. I regained my composure rather quickly and was all “Got it, don’t worry, we’ll do this” and then I talked to Matt and he gave me an idea on how to fix the html on the newsletter. Today I am going to work on IContact, write or start at least my paper and go to my dads for dinner.
I am constantly burnt out. I need Spring Break I guess.