My Maternal Clock Has Officially Turned On

I had a dream that I was pregnant last night. Then I woke up and fell back to sleep and it picked up. I dreamt I had the baby and it was a little boy and I was torn between what to name him- It was between Jacob and a few other J names. Someone told me to stop watching so much Lost and to forget naming him Jacob. He grew up quickly, going from infant to toddler in like a week. And he was a bit bratty and I accidentally hurt his head and gave him a huge lump. Everyone was trying to tell me how to take care of him but I didn’t need their opinions. I loved that baby. I could make him laugh and he held onto me so tightly. I was still in school and that made it difficult because I had trouble staying caught up. I still had all the same friends. I just hadn’t told my Dad yet.

When I had the baby I texted the father and he never got it so a few days later I saw him and brought up the fact that he has a 2 day old baby. I brought it up by saying, “So this is my belly now, without a baby in it.” And he said, “There better be a baby in there.” He had no idea, and suddenly I wondered why I hadn’t just called him. I felt bad because I realized how much he cared about this baby too. It was ours, not mine.

We settled into true love.

I was really really happy.

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