Sometimes things don’t work out the way you wanted them to. Usually this results in denial, terrible tries to make it work, and eventual bitterness over the entire situation.
And then, you sober up. Your mind has a way of resetting itself and allowing you to see things clearly. It doesn’t happen easily, or quickly, and it usually doesn’t last. But it does happen. And in these moments you should really jot a few things down.
I know that I am lucky that things didn’t get fucked up between us. I feel very fortunate to be able to have conversation still. I think I will be able to get back to normal in time. I also know that this is best. I can sleep tonight not feeling heavy in my heart because I didn’t get what I wanted. Sometimes you want the wrong things. And when you realize that you’re very lucky. Even luckier when you don’t get what you want.