A few times at work a discussion on love breaks out. Anjel, Nic and I are ALWAYS involved. This time Courtney started it. She asked how I can believe in love seeing as my parent’s themselves are divorced. I explained that once you are in love you can never not believe in it. The problem is that 1) Courtney doesn’t understand how “love” and “was” can ever be in the same sentence. This doesn’t make sense to her. I can understand that. 2) Anjel and Nic have seen too many people “be in love” and then “be in love” again with a new person shortly afterward. I understand this frustration. 3) Sometimes you are never loved as hard as you love. Love takes everything in you- real love. And you fight for it. And when you say it, you mean it. Or at least that’s how it should be. If you’ve been in real love and haven’t had real love given back to you, you begin to become hardened and jaded. I also understand this.

The thing is is that love is hard. And it doesn’t always last forever. And sometimes it isn’t reciprocated properly. These are all risks you take. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. And sometimes it falls apart, and you fall out of love. And sometimes after falling in love and then falling out of it the person you once fell for turns out to be someone completely different than you thought. This is also a sad risk, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

I’ve said this before, but there’s a line in the movie Adaptation where Nick Cage’s brother (who I think is also Nick Cage) says that just because it wasn’t mutual doesn’t make the love he felt less valid. This is also true, and this realization changed me and got my through a really tough time at one point long ago.

It’s hard to believe in it when it’s evaded you for so long or when you’ve been severely burnt by love. But the truth is, it’s not love that’s burning you. It’s the person. And people are imperfect. How can something as pure and true as love be handled by imperfect people? It will always get somewhat tainted. It will always at some point be hard. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Will everyone end up with someone? No. Does everyone experience true love? No. Is there someone meant for everyone? I don’t know. But it’s real. And I’ve felt it. And I have fought for it. And I have put everything I had into it. And still, I am single. Yet, I am not without love. I don’t think it wasn’t real. It was very real. Even if it only lasts for a short time- that was love. And I wish I could say that even if I never experienced it again I would still believe in it and still be warmed by its memory. But I can’t say that because I don’t know if I’m that strong. I am imperfect. But I do know it’s real. And I do believe in it. And I do know I’ll find it again- somewhere, with someone.

I think once you lose your faith you lose a lot more than just that.


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