Talking with Nic tonight made me realize a lot about the end of relationships and the subsequent emotional shit show it can at times cause, and I fully believe that only happens when you really loved someone (regardless of their feelings. their feelings dont even remotely matter at that point). Also, I relate to his situation more than he could ever know. It’s not like I can be like “yes I feel you BECAUSE blah blah blah” as it would just seem like I was trying to relate. The real message would be lost, and that message is you are not alone. You are not alone in these feelings. I feel certain levels of depression are normal in life. Where he is is where I have been, where you have been, where REAL intelligent emotionally sensitive.. “sensible” (Jane Austen’s definition of sensibility) people often find themselves. As I have said before, the heart is only made to take certain things and having to let go of love is never natural for it. It’s not MADE to do that. That’s why it hurts so bad and is so hard to get over. It’s like trying to turn white into black.
The difference, however, is God. I had God during those rough times and it helped me to heal. If you don’t have God though.. well I don’t even know how you would go about getting over things without becoming completely numb. Without giving up.
Anyway- … I have Relient K lyrics that would perfectly capture me right now.. but I’ll keep that in my little, not meant to be hurt, heart. Also- I still am s.o single yet I don’t feel lonely. I feel very fine about it. As if.. you know.. it’s meant for now. And that makes me smile, because I have delusions for the future.