My Lord

I don’t think I realize that this summer I drove across the country and had an amazing time

and that I went to England

and Paris

and saw 100s and 1000s of things for the first time.

How can you comprehend that?

How do I barely remember it?

I will never have such a summer as that.

Really. Really. All I have now are the pictures

and I miss it.



This class exhausts me. Today I leant a person my lighter, leant another person my phone, and talked to a boy from class during a cigarette break. Look- im sort of making ‘friends’. Which is to say, I’m not going 12 hours without talking to anyone. Its raining out and I’m worried about my computer. No jacket. No umbrella. No good.

i dont know anything i used to like about you or why i let you in

thats a lyric from a new spill song. It’s the only lyric they played.  So.. sounds awesome? They should be touring soon.

I’m in a great mood today. Been rethinking about working in the city with Adam (if that became a possibility). Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing? Who knows. I literally am shrugging as I write that. Like really, who knows?

I’m productive today. I drove the scion in… it’s nice having a nice car. Tomorrow or Wednesday I’ll be back to the easter egg though.

Back to life.

I didn’t get out of bed today until 1. I was back in bed by 3:30. I was feeling exhausted and sick. So I went and found tons  of pills (though not my echinacea) and took all of them. That could also be why I passed back out. Then I vegged on vegetables and dips and made pasta.. and over cooked the pasta.. so I remade more pasta. then I dropped my car off, my headunit and hundreds of wires hanging out everywhere. I did some homework. And other than that I’ve just been kind of lounging around. Mom and I went to fridays for potato skins and a beer, though she ended up just having a diet coke. I’ve had a headache all day though.

So basically I did nothing all day. I’ll sleep fine tonight. nothing days are nice sometimes, though I really wish I had an xbox. or someone to hang out with now.

Yesterday my mom went to a seminar about evolution and Christianity. its something i’ve been talking a lot about lately.. well it’s something people have been talking to me about lately as one of the only people they know who doesn’t know what to believe. “HOW CAN U NOT BELIEVE IT? THERES SCIENTIFIC PROOF BLAH BLAH” all I’m saying is if evolution is real, God made it. whats so hard to understand about that? i dont know why christians are so scared of science. and i would be labeled a heretic.

but anyway. she was telling me about it and i was so frustrated with her blind faith. i was frustrated with brittany saying “if u dont have an explanation, just have faith” those things dont fly when you talk to non believers. I know theres real proof of everything i believe and I wish I had my hands on it. i know theres proof. God made science for a reason. they are not enemies. they go hand in hand.

but I got so frustrated I almost cried. and its just because I am really really curfuddled.

explain this..

here is a picture from  my old church’s website:


And here’s a picture from one of the websites I was looking at yesterday when searching for new churches


So there’s some stock photo agency for church websites that’s giving basically the same picture to everyone? I dont get it though bc.. why not just put pictures up of people who actually go to your church? People actually reading the bible?

It doesn’t matter. I was just like.. wait a minute. Didn’t I JUST see this picture?