Oh shit

The Jackie and Phil thing came out.


Summers creaking to a stop..

and I’m enjoying every minute of it while I can. Since I’ve been home my life has been eventful, fun, and perfect for me. Let’s see we did Bar A for Nic’s Martyr thing one night. I went to Matt’s party the other night (which, do I even need to get into how dumb Shannon is? No I dont.), Legends Bar 2 nights ago with the boys and us and last night I chilled at Nic’s and watched movies. He laughed in his sleep, which I’ve never seen before. Tonight we’re going to Philly. In between going out, I hung out with Sharkey one afternoon. I saw an early movie with Christina, Britt and Nic, we had a great Jester turn out this Monday (officially beginning the Monday Night Football/Taco Wing nights again with everyone)! Josh has been in such a great fun mood, I got to see Dave’s animals, work has been fun and I’ve been making decent money. I even trained 2 times this week. I’ve been getting closer in some ways to people. Like Sharkey, who is now going to be my default Sunday plans because his football spread is amazing. Plus, I love hanging out with Sharkey more than almost anyone. my car is shitty. my rutgers classes need fixing. my room isn’t what I want it to be. But I have a good life and I’m not just happy, I’m content.

My Mom and Mick are probably going to Vegas within the next 2 weeks to a month. I can’t wait for them to leave so we can have everyone over. Brittany’s been wishing she could have a party for a while. Hopefully they leave before school starts but it’ll probably be in Sept.

This morning we went to the diner and had breakfast and then I headed home and my mom is bringing my car to get a realignment and then to meineke to get the electrical issues fixed up.

I dont really want to go to philly tonight but its KB’s birthday so you know.. I just hate how everyone wants to do cool expensive things on their birthdays. I’m content with the Jester. Why is that? Probably because I’d rather everyone be able to come to the local spot than only a few come to some far off destination.

What I Want

Is to not have a crush. Is to do what is actually right, instead of what feels good.

Is to take this opportunity and run with it.

is to write a book.

is to start that blog.

Is to be fulfilled alone/surrounded by the good people. And I am alone. And I am surrounded by the good people.

But I have this crush, and it’s nothing but disappointing.

And I’m detached enough to smile over the stupidity of girlhood.

Sigh. Such is life Miss. Can’t expect perfection around you. But its good.

I just have this stupid, stupid crush. blargh (though not a real word, perfect)

I like the idea of surrounding yourself with all the whispered praises you’ve received. I need to do something with that idea.

Whispered worship?

But really, it would turn on you, as those voices fade. Then it would be like stagnant reminders of something that was once alive but is now so dead.

Ima write something gooood one-uh these days.

Welcome Home

So I’ve been home a few days now. Let’s see.. Monday night we got home, ate dinner, talked with Mom and then met up with some friend folks at the Jester, which is only appropriate. THEN, I went to Joe’s of course because continuing bad habits is all the rage. Tuesday was my first day back to work and it was a lot of fun. Me and Nic talked the whole time, reminding G$ how annoying it is when we work together. He really is an amazing boss. Jim John and Jeff were in, the boys.. the trifecta.. so I talked to them. They make me laugh.. well mostly Jeff. I was in such a good mood, I made decent money, and I enjoyed it. Good! I’m refreshed! I was burnt from work before I left, so the 3 week vaca was a good cleansing. Today I got my hair cut (I’ll have to straighten it to see how I like it) and then went to Express where I spent $78 on REAL jeans. No more Forever21 for me. I am completely done with that trash hole. Tonight me and KB are going to Bar A to support Martyr as they sponsor Scarlet Carson. Yes.. Nic’s clothing brand is sponsoring Atlantic City Joe’s band. Haha.. small ridiculous world. Josh, Maureen, Britt (and I think Ariana) will also be there.. so it’s going to be a lot of fun. And no guidos. We’re either sleeping at Kip’s or we’ll drive home…. we’ll see.

I guess what I’m saying is life might not be ‘a-different-city-every-night’ type exciting, but it’s still good. And I like it…… today.

I just came back from a 3 week cross-country road trip. My writers block has been demolished. I am back. I am still me though, except my hair is dark brown now.


that is the address of the blog I kept.

I still confuse the heck out of myself but I’m slowly figuring out why I do the things I do. I am beautiful too. I know that.

And I’m nervous to go back to work. I am also excited kind of. Mostly to have money, to not think of my budget EVERY DAY and to be able to splurge on say.. some clothes! Seeing as mine dont fit anymore.. but that’s bc they’re all a little too big . woohoooooo