In retrospect I’m happy I went last night. I didn’t know most of the people there but it wasn’t like a big party, it was an intimate thing. Sure, if Lizzie hadn’t walked in when we did it might have been a different kind of night… but I’m glad we were able to talk to her. Two sides to every story and after all the shit I think I get her point. I mean, we’re all idiots. We all make terrible decisions when it comes to dating. And apparently we all suck at letting go. So that’s not to say either of them are intelligent in their process, it’s just to say I get it.
As the days roll on, I’m becoming a little happier and a little happier and more comfortable in my skin and in my life. I don’t feel like anyone is better than me or better off than me. I, for the most part, like where I am. Theres thing I hate, like Maureen being how she is sometimes and Josh being how he is sometimes, but the good of everyone and everything else outweighs the negative.
I don’t feel like I’m in a group of friends anymore. I just go to and fro and do what I want. It’s nice and freeing.
I don’t feel like I have to answer to anyone anymore too. I don’t have to explain myself. I just don’t care enough to do that. If someone asks for an explanation or puts me down or is condescending.. they just look ignorant and insecure to me.
Anyway, I’m making a tiny little mark for myself, like a little nest, right in the center of everything in my life. And I belong.