Yesterday was nice. Went to the movies with Nic, then spent some time reading at Borders which I’ve always loved doing (being absolutely invisible in the middle of a store is a very cozy feeling), then I got food with matt at Old Silvers though I said I would never ever eat there again (It was good and I’m still alive). Afterwards I went home, relaxed and eventually met up with some people at the Jester, where I drank just a little too much and ended up puking a lot when I got home.
I also spoke with Matty, hardly, but I at least heard his voice. I think we both dropped the ball on that one.
And Im talking to Josh wondering if things will ever be the same. At least I imed him. I’m gunna spend the night at his house. I guess I dropped the ball with that too a little. You see when it comes to friendship, I just don’t think of others feelings enough. Sometimes I just think of myself. What I need. What I lack. What I’m bothered by. I dont think of my friends, what they probably need. Like, Josh needs company. he’s all alone in his new apt and I have blown him off the passed 2 weeks. And I am right near his apt every day I’m at school yet I’ve never stopped by. And Matt. He got the bi-product of our issues with Andrew. He didn’t do anything, and he moved on. He expected us to be friends. he finally is back. And I stopped trying. I have things to fix. I have apologies to make. And I have great friends, because in the end, things are always okay.
Old friendships that are fine, old friendships that are struggling, old friendships that are going to be renewed, new friendships that haven’t had the opportunity to be tested yet.
Guys never go through this with other guys. But guys go through this shit with girl’s who are friends. Not because we are so emotional, but guys expect certain things from their female friends and when they don’t get it, they get hurt too.