A Fingertips Distance

So my mom and Mick are having issues and yeah it’s kind of serious, but also in marriages, you have issues and work through them. I suppose though my faith in my mom being able to work through things is a bit shallow, seeing as for so long things weren’t possibly work through-able for her. Or she just didn’t want to. And now I feel that though she could work through things, who knows if she wants to. Maybe she’s someone quick to throw in the towel. Maybe not.

The only evidence I have that relationships can work is through the marriage between my Dad and Dina. And my faith in love arises solely from their relationship and from the love of God. Because I betray and let down God so often, and he continuously forgives me, I see what true love is capable of. I know God’s love for me is the purest and best example of love to ever exist, and that no man will ever be able to love me like God loves me, but I think I believe I will find someone who loves me as close as possible to that.

I still get nervous when my mom fights. Like I’m 12 years old again. It would be nice to have someone who loves me that I could talk to about with it. Someone who would turn to me and say, “You know, we’ll never be like that.” But also, I have God. And every one who has ever said that to me ended up disappearing, for whatever reasons. I’m okay with that. I’m also fully aware of what I need to accomplish. And I have the faith to know that someone is out there, so I’m never worried over it.

Love is real, that I believe. I learned that from my father. I will never stop believing that. One day for sure I’ll experience love for real myself.

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