Somethings just aren’t going to make sense, and you need to just accept that. It’s difficult when you don’t fully understand things, but sometimes you aren’t meant to. I remember learning that in Sunday school.. or somewhere in church. Who are you to think you deserve an explanation for everything? You don’t. Maybe one day it’ll make sense (in this situation it will make sense one day when I’m married and in love) and maybe one day it still won’t make sense. Regardless, it is what it is. You need to have the faith to believe that either way, it’s for the best.
I just hope I’m strong enough to be cool with this forever. But of course, I am.