Lately, life has been fun. But, there is something missing. My friends are great and all, but I miss having that one person. I don’t know why I miss it, it’s like the grass is always greener. But I don’t want a relationship, persay, I kind of want that pre-relationship. Before it gets really comfortable, but not when it’s awkward. When you know eachother kind of well but still have a lot more to learn, and you have a lot of fun hanging out, but you’re still very self-aware and of course, flirtatious.

Or maybe I want the part where we’re each others refuge. By then you’re really close and going out. But I miss the comfortable, not worrying about anything type of cuddling where you’re just with that person, relaxing, and very happy. I don’t know why this is on my mind right now. I’ll probably be single for 1.5-2 years anyway. That’s always how long I’ve gone in between. And I have decided also that I don’t want to have sex ever again until I’m married. I decided that right after things ended with Joe. SO I suppose that means I will have to wait possibly longer to date, seeing as now I have to find some guy who will actually wait too.

In other, less pathetic news, Jordan was in the hospital for a few days because of lung disease, or so my dad put it. Turns out it was some type of meningitis, but dad wouldn’t talk to me about it on the phone. So tonight I guess I’ll find out if Jordan is alive or not.


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