A Secret

So, I can’t tell this to anyone. Not even my own sister. Not my friends. Everyone would be ‘so disappointed’ or look at me differently. Judgingly. As if my word means nothing and I’m not strong. Maybe that is true, but I doubt it.

Last night I went to Escondido’s and got far too drunk. Threw up outside type drunk. Horribly embarrassing, in retrospect. At that moment, not so much. Tony held my hair. Joe was there. We decided to hang out so after Brittany picked me up I snuck out, much to her disapproval, and went to Joe’s. Spent the night together again, like we did ONLY TEN DAYS AGO. But, we were more friends this time. We were able to talk more. Chance at a friendship? Possible. But we really need to work on only being friends.

I have a hickey on my neck. What am I 16? You see, with all the strides I make, I’m still sinful by nature and am constantly messing up. Fortunately, God is constantly forgiving. And I am sorry. For lying, for leaving, for not being stronger.
I’m especially sorry I drank so much. I just wish I could remember our conversation last night a little better.

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