Be my eyes, because I am blind

So, I had recently declared to God that I was going to follow my ambition and apply to schools in order to major in film editing. I have wanted to edit film for a few years now and had told God that if by this passed May I still wanted to do this, I would take that as a sign from him to go forward in it. Since a year and  months later I still was interested, I thought that this was my plan.

Since then, my desire for film editing has dwindled immensely. However, I am not sure if this is because God is stepping in and saying, “Okay you stepped out in faith and now I am going to give you an inch of direction, don’t go that way.”  Or if I am just scared of this path. Now, I’m utterly confused. If not film, what to major in? I have to decide like NOW because I will be finished with my associates this fall and have to apply as soon as possible in order to continue somewhere else in the Spring. I need to make a decision. But, I’m not sure. I’m confused. Yet, after reading Jason Wheble’s info, I have been reminded that I need to walk in faith, even if I don’t know where I’m going. I am not walking alone, and God’s plan isn’t any less real just because I can’t quite see it. So, perhaps I will apply to both schools with film programs and schools with other programs I am interested in. After being accepted, I will see what options are in front of me and move forward from there.

I just need to remember that whether I see it or not, whether I understand it or not, God still has a plan for me. And if I walk faithfully and have faith in Him in every aspect of my life, He will steer me in the right direction. I just need faith really.

Tonight I’m going to Escondido’s with Kari. I really hope she doesn’t back out, though I’m sure she won’t. It’s like the last big hoorah before school starts, though I could technically go next week too. Unfortunately my mom made a doctor’s appointment for me tomorrow at 9:45 AM. I was calling today to make an appointment but she beat me to it. I’m going to be very exhausted tomorrow. Maybe I just won’t drink that much…

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