I am kind of down from missing classes this week. I have a lot on my plate, and I cant afford to miss classes. But I am so exhausted all the time.
It’s like I don’t want to go to class, but I don’t want to not go to class. Im procrastinating everything. I need to just do it. Apply to colleges. Decide where to move.
I dont want a cigarette. I dont want a drink. I dont want to lay in bed and make out. I dont know what I want to do right now. So Im going to get something to eat.
Im a waste sometimes.
today I feel hung over even though I didn’t drink last night. I think though I just may be getting sick. Not sick sick, but maybe stuffy.
I had a dream last night that my cousins Jaime, Alexis and Jason all died. I need to look up what dreams about people dying mean, including me dying, because the last two weeks I’ve had dreams of Eric, Joe, Jaime, Alexis, Jason and myself dying.
“But Im trying to live beautifully so I try and see the beautiful aspects of our relationship. Like if we were a movie, and I was watching it, what would I think was great. Those are the things I try and cherish…”