I remember when I moved home, thinking (or more fearing) that everything would be awful. How am I going to make new friends? It was something I prayed about. I knew I wanted/needed new friends.
I remember saying to Britt, “At least at school you have the possibility to always meet new guys. Going to Brookdale I’ll never meet anyone there. I’m not going to date anyone because how am I ever going to meet anyone other than out, and I don’t want to date anyone I meet at a bar.”
I’ve dated a few people. None of them were from school, or from the bar.
Things have a way of working out, and I know it’s God. I never really worry too much about things because I can only control so much. The key is to leave the rest to Him. I have school under control now and I’m going to be okay, as long as I stay in control of what I am capable of controlling. It’s all balanced. Do what you are supposed to do and God will take care of the rest.
Faith. It’s strange because I’m so trusting and faithful about the weirdest things. About things that most people are fearful over. The future. My one day husband. Jobs. Finances. But I’m so anxiety ridden about other things. School. Being free. Being able to travel.
It’s as if I know God is in control of what He is, and that’s what I’m at peace with. But when it comes to the aspects I’m in control over, I freak out. As if subconsciously I know I’m going to drop the ball. I just need to have faith to know even then, He’ll help me pick everything back up. It’s good to know this. To know God.
Tomorrow I’m going to the city with Shark and we’re seeing Spearhead. I haven’t been to the city in a while (I think it’s been about six months) so I’m excited to go back. We’re going to this restaurant in Little Korea (did you know there was a little Korea? I didn’t.) It over looks the city.. it’s like a million stories up. Apparently you go for the view alone. A few drinks and then we’ll go to BB King’s and see them jam out all night. Then I don’t work again until Sunday NIGHT. My mom says I need to do things like this to break up the monotony of school and work. It’s cool she understands that. Then Wednesday is my first date with this guy Joe. I don’t know what I think of him yet, but he hasn’t done anything that would make me leery at all. Which is good. He’s very persistent, but not too much so. As in, he calls me everyday and texts through out the day. But then, he’ll be like “I’m losing service so I’m gunna go. I might call you later but I might go to bed so if I don’t talk to you have a good night.” It’s normal. I’m not the center of his world or anything. But he still makes it known that he’s interested. Balance. I crave this balance because I always either fall for the guy who shows no interest at all and kind of strings me along, or overbearing guys. And even once, some controlling jerks.
Today Kari, Maureen, Anjel and I went to the Cheesecake Factory on our break from work. First let me say how nice it is to get breaks again. During the summer you get a quick break between shifts simply to eat (at Chili’s) and then come right back on.. if you get a break at all. But now that it’s our off season AND Cheesecake opened up right across the highway, we get breaks again. I worked for 45 minutes this morning before being cut. Then I had time to eat a long lunch, and then go home and take an hour nap before being due back. Okay no I didn’t make a sick amount of money but I don’t mind. I’m relishing in the slower pace of things because as soon as December comes around we’re going to be packed.
Oh and secondly they have this amazing raspberry martini you absolutely need to try.
I guess if there’s anything at all I’m anxious over right now it would be the fact that by April I need a few grand saved away for apartment shopping. Other than that, I’m good. I’m using Christmas to ask my mom to mainly just pay for two winter classes, which will be so nice. Then I’ll use my left over grant money to go toward my apartment fund. I just need to step up and do some things myself (budget, be smart, save) and then leave the rest to God. If it’s His will it’ll work. I just hope it is His will because I really don’t want to move to Florida.
This is the longest post I’ve written in a while. It’s good to catch myself up.
Upstairs I hear the new Rilo Kiley CD blasting, and I’m happy because I just showed it to Brittany twenty minutes ago on the ride home, and she’s already downloaded it.
Life is lovely. That’s something I haven’t really said since the end of my second semester at Lee. It has a lot of significance and to be able to say that again is… beautiful.