There are things to catch up on, but it’s also 10:20 in the morning and I can still catch fourty more minutes of sleep before I have to get up and get ready for my ten hour shift today so….. I’ll talk later. But I will say
1) I love my sister
2) Me Maureen Matt adn Joe are having a scavenger hunt across America!
3)I wrote a new slam (haha slam, I sound so gay for saying that)
4) I am happy
wirestyle22 (7:34:21 PM): so ellen and i aren’t together anymore
Dude. What the hell?
Okay. Thursday he’s coming with me to Toms River to hang out with Ellen and Ian. We’re going to see Grindhouse.. hopefully. He imed me with showtimes, then the TR show times. I warned him.. told him I’m not good at intermingling.. I’m not worried though. He can handle himself. I actually think it’ll be fun.
It’s weird. With Jon I was like.. idk.. he was my prince charming. My little savior. But I don’t need a savior anymore. I don’t need anyone riding in on their stallion, picking me up and carrying me away to some paradise. I just want someone to come to after my long day that will make me laugh and rub my arm as I fall asleep on his chest.. while watching some lame zombie movie and talking about the world. Someone to drink a beer with and play guitar hero with. Someone to go on double dates with.. to go to Mets games with.. to show my poetry to..
I don’t want a knight. I want an equal. A buddy. A partner in crime.
So far, it’s working out pretty well. And I love that he always calls himself out on being a silly, or cheesy.. or when he says something that comes out really wrong. I like that we’re going so slow. We don’t pretend to be something we’re not. I mean.. we just aren’t yet, so why pretend? Building a relationship on false pretenses is like constructing a house.. on soggy foundations. It may seem like it’s okay, but it won’t be long until it collapses. Anyway, thank God he doesnt read this haha.
I just need to work on being myself and make sure not to become untrue to who I really am. As in, saying things I don’t mean, or getting so caught up I don’t say anything at all. Only I really understand that, because I’ve seen myself.
I think the good thing is I’m not infatuated. I’m pretty real about this, and that keeps me level headed. And that, my friends, is damn mature.
(but he still makes me smile like a goof. plain and simple, he’s my crush, but the best kind of crush because I’m his too)
He wrote something beautiful and sent it to me.
I don’t want to get hurt.
We had our first kiss last night.
We’ll see what happens here…