Once again, my personal motto comes rushing in at full force and slaps me straight in the face. No matter how much I understand and grasp that fact that ‘nothing is certain’, I still seem to so often be painfully reminded. But nonetheless, I have in the last few months realized my strength. I have keen sense of what’s right for me and no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I have to go with what I know is true. I’ve learned to listen to myself and I now can logically come to well thought out conclusions to some of the most painful of realizations. This ability keeps me thinking logically and doesn’t allow me to just go with my emotions, which is good since emotions are only temporary feelings.
I’ve been acting really dumb lately, doing things I’m personally against and casting a bad shadow on my name and all that I stand for. But that stage is over. Life is ever changing and my life right now is NOTHING like it was only two months ago. Fortunately, since hinesight is 20/20, I realize that my life now is pretty much, in every aspect, greater. Healthier.
Realizing he may have never loved me stings. Realizing I did however love him is enlightening. And though I hold resentment and some anger, I will choose to let that go. Why soil my thoughts over something that I can’t change. Instead I will do what I always do. Look fondly at the good memories, eventually forget the bad ones, and move on with a little more wisdom and insight.
You can’t take life or yourself too seriously. Learn that and things get so much easier