I hate you

You know, in police investigations LiveJournal’s and Myspace’s are means for evidence. What a changing world. I’m just reading up on the Taylor Behl case. I mean, of coarse you think to yourself “I’d never ever be as dumb as that to meet up with some one who says they’re a photographer! Over the net? Please.” But I have a friend who met someone in Barnes and Noble.. a man in his thirties.. and he wanted to take her pictures. He had a website and all. They talked online for hours, and he admitted to thinking of her nude and shit. It freaked me out and I told her never to talk to him again. Usually we use one another for some wisdom when we’re too caught up in a situation to think clearly. But she didn’t listen and kept talking to him for some time. Thank God she didn’t go any further. But then there are less drastic and far less scary circustances that I find myself in. Such as, people from my college messaging me off of Facebook or Myspace (men that is, though once a girl) that want to meet up or meet me. I’ve endulged in 2 of these relationships, just talking and planning a time to meet up. But who’s to say, I mean really say, they aren’t psycho men who don’t go to Lee. Okay, even I find that thought absurd, but it’s possible right? The people who I’ve talked to though have mutual friends with me, so alls well, but you catch my drift. A girl’s got to be smart these days. And if I was to meet up with a person claiming to be from my school and wind up weeks later face down in a ditch, there would be some girl somewhere typing an entry saying how dumb I was. That’s why I never add anyone I dont know on myspace. I just dont see any reason for it, not to mention those weirdos leaving me messages telling me how attractive I am. Or that one guy asking me to be in his porn shoot.
I also though have high standards and I suppose good enough self esteem and self respect where as if I find some 30 year old hitting on me, I’m immediately revulsed and, of coarse, a million red flags go shooting up. Once that happens, I can’t carry on a relationship with you if I wanted to. Also, when a guy talks to me and I get the faintest feeling he’s just in it for ass, or he’s not genuine, or he think’s he’s smooth and charming.. I’m outta there. I’m not looking to play around. If I’m interested in a guy it’s going to be because of his true personality, his passion, his genuine honesty, his obvious affection, adoration and respect. NOT because he said my body’s bangin’ and I’m a top notch hottie. Gag.

Today I went to the mall and bought a pair of Diesels.. a nice cute pair with LACES not stretchy straps. I also housed some jewlery from American Eagle..score. I go back to Tennessee in 10 days or so. I’ve been saying “I’m going back home soon” but really, that’s not my home, and neither is this. I’m homeless. So be it. It happens to us all during that strange transitional limbo from child to adult. Where do I belong? I don’t know, I haven’t gotten there yet. I’m still just stepping away from my last milestone. It’ll be awhile until I reach my next.. about a mile away I take it. Who knows though, I’m not a star athlete, it may take me awhile to treck that mile.

I want only 2 more.. at the most 3 more, serious relationships in my life. Why? Because I’m not the kind of person who can be in too many serious relationships. My heart’s too weak for that. It’ll kill my spirit. Well I am a strong individual so I’d like to think that it WOULDNT kill me in anyway, but I would certainly lose some of my innocence and hopeful thinking. I already lost a lot of my optimism. Let’s not completely destroy my whimsical characteristics: They may be the key behind my good fortune and good writing.

2:18. Time for bed. ..right


6 responses to “I hate you

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