So I’m home. Wednesday I went to my dad’s for his birthday and spent some tuime with Dina Hayley Jordan and Zachy, and my dad obviously. Zach is still gimpin’ around with his cast… he’s been in a cast for over a month a half now. Then Thanksgiving I ate with my mom and then went to Dad’s for desert… said hi to all the family and family friends I havent seen in months/years. Today I went to the mall with Britt and got a new belly ring (since mine fell out in Matt’s car, meaning it’s officially lost in the abyss of crap dwelling on Honeycutt’s floor) and a new dress for whatever formal Jon and I go to. It’s black with straps that look like thick rope, the straps tie around my neck and fall down my back, and on the front it’s triangle cut which fits my boobs (considering they will never stop growing apparently). It goes to a little lower then my knees and it’s flowy. Very cute, fits me well… and you know, I’ll look hot. Tonight I’m going out to dinner then getting together with some friends. Tomorrow I’m getting my hair cut (yaaaaaaaaaay). Then sunday, back to Tennessee for about 2 weeks.
All is well-
“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can
meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes,
is certain for those who are friends.”
I’m going home tomorrow. I’m so excited to be HOME and see my sister and family and friends. Ah so excited. I’ll only be there for a few days but I’m happy happy. I’ll miss Jon though (mwa). But I’ll be there for my Dads birthday on Wednesday and then obviously for Thanksgiving which I am so excited about. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because you’re just surrounded by food and family, what’s not to love?
Okay time for a shower and schtuff.
the girls in my hall deserve a beat down.
Who will be in my life? Who won’t? I should be graduated or atleast close… what will my final major be? Will I be in love? Will I be married? Will I be at Lee? Will I be happy?
I’ll figure it out when I’m 24.
Til then, I’m working on it.
So yesterday was a waste until about 8 when I got a phone call:
“Hello?” (thats me)
“Okay, get dressed, go outside, walk across the street, wait for Honeycutts car, get in Honeycutts car. We’re going to McDonalds” (Jon)
“I am dressed!”
“Okay.. go! Hurry! Now!”
So went with Jon, Jay and Matt to get some free food (free for us anyway) and just chilled. The guys had a much more interesting night then myself, but back at the hizzy was pretty fun. Besides Jon learning how to DRIVE ME CRAZY, and then breaking the bed which is now highly uncomfortable, we finally got cable. It was just a fun night wrestling and tickling and just goofing around. Then J and Honey had a good talk while Jon and I eventually got restless and now everyone knows where I’m ticklish…
Anyway, I didnt fall asleep until 4 something because I am a very particular sleeper and I cant sleep unless 1) its dark 2) the TV’s off 3) IM COMFORTABLE, which I was not. Needless to say, no chapel for me today…or ever since I seemingly will be on probation for the rest of my life.. or until I get exempt.
Anyway I made my schedule for next semester, which will be my BETTER SEMESTER.
Heres what I’m taking:
Public speaking (yay)
Understanding Contemporary Sociology
Intro to Philosophy
Healthy and Effective Lifestyles
if that ends up being too much, I made it so I can drop one class if neccesary.
Well now I cant decide between a nap or a shower right now.
I just went and read my entries from last year around this time. So much was going on; I was trying to figure out what schools to apply to, I was making mistakes, drifting from God, finances were a mess, I got into my car accident, I had mixed up feelings about this guy (haha if only I knew), I just started to party a bit, family life was going downhill, everyone started losing their virginity, I was reallly really getting tested..I was having a tough time. I was struggling with so much; youth alive, the loss of mark, the uncertainty of my future. Now a year later, other things are going on. I’m still stressed out though but I see now that I have a lot LESS to be stressed about. Different situations. Now I’m sorta having a ryanesque complex, so I need to fix that immediately before I fall into a similar situation. Other than that, my time here at Lee thus far is NOTHING like I had expected. Reading back on my journal, I was expecting a life opposite of what I’m living.. and I’m to blame for that. When this semester ends, dear GOD will I be ecstatic. I need to pass my classes though. I’ve gotten really good at learning how to stop thinking about stressful situations. What I would do was during the weekend or when I’m alone in my dorm trying to fall asleep, I’d make myself push any stressful thoughts out of my head because they would keep me from sleeping. Now I do it constantly. So.. thats no good.
I really need to focus on me and get myself back. Fatty Mcfatfat. I need to become me again. NOT this nervous little twit I am. I hate bottling shit up and I MUST stop. I get frustrated. I can’t be like this. I refuse. Also.. since when do I cry this often. See what happens when I put myself out there. I’m vulnerable and thus, easily hurt.
Well, it is 3:19 so I should go to sleep seeing as I have class in 7 hours and I need 8 hours at least to function. Oh well I nap everyday anyway. A nap a day is seriously a life saver. I started napping last year though, because senior year was oh-so hard.
I just need a break from it all. I need a time out, take a deep breath, and yell DO-OVER. Otherwise, time out, deep breath, work work work work work work work, rest. Start over.
A good start would be to work off my accountability hours and get off chapel probation.
Until next time, you are not who you hang out with, but you can forget that sometimes.
I talked to MARK this weekend. I guess it was Friday? Maybe Thursday. Probably thursday.
Bffff. him and whitney broke up, whaat?! I might get to see him over christmas break. Its been about 3 years since I’ve seen him. 6 months since we last talked, or so.
Tony and I just had a 2 hour conversation about what we’re going to do when we win the lottery. Clubs, restaurants, nonspoiled kids..hell yes. Sugarbaby!
Jon is sick and dying. I hope he gets better soon. I was only sick for 3 days. He’s going on a week.
I have become meek and timid but this stopping TODAY. I figure, if I continue to hold stuff in.. I’m going to constantly feel like crap. Might as well start giving myself the respect I deserve and start vocalizing what I have to say. The worst that could happen is I lose people, but I’ll lose them eventually if I bottle everything up anyway.
I can’t wait to go home!!!! =)