I just have to do this.

Sex isn’t sacred anymore. In this week alone, I have found out that 4 different people I know are no longer virgins, and haven’t been for awhile. 4! And one of these people I am very close to. I.. am so sad for her. And it hurts me too. But my perspective of premarital sex has just done a complete 180. I used to think “nah.. they’re still virgins. He’s still a virgin or she’s still a virgin. Yeah they’ve been together for 2 years.. 1 year.. 8 months.. but I really do think he’s/she’s/they’re still virgins.” Now.. I wont be surprised at all if I hear someones not a virgin. And now I expect it. It hurts that its come to this.. I’m so sorry Jesus. It sucks this stupid world. I am a virgin, but only by the grace of God. If it werent for Him and his perfect timing and unconditional love I wouldn’t be a virgin.. and I think about that all the time and can’t thank Him enough. He knew what was best for me and stopped me, even though I had chosen the path I had. He kept me from ultimate destruction.. Thank God. But ugh, I’m just so numb right now I guess is how I can describe it. Sex is no big deal. Sex is sex. It’s just sex. Or so it seems. But it IS a big deal, and I know it’s a big deal and I am waiting until I’m married. It’s a precious, awesome gift from God. I want to cry sorta, but then again I dont. I just am so indifferent right now. UGh.. i dont know much longer I will have virgin friends. I can easily see the day when most of my friends will be having or will have had sex. I dont like it. The world revolves around sex, its everywhere. Everything people talk about and joke about and are motivated by. Why have that regret? Just dont do it. Whatever.. Idk.. I need to hold on to my christian friends, because they are the only ones that see cleary. I pray, God, for all those who have lost it so early in life. Jesus forgive them. Let them feel your love. Lord, let them feel you, convict them Lord.. so that they can accept you into their lives. And Jesus, for the christian who recently lost it, Lord I pray you have her in your book forever. Forever be in her life Lord Jesus. Help her resist further temptation, help her to get back onto you Lord. I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.

Besides that, tongiht was good. Me and Britt went to P-Jons and hung out with matt andrew jared mark cj .. It was like old times. Fun.
But I am in pain, grr, I have this weird headache that goes down through me neck, and my shoulder is killing me. its been like this all day. Okay, I’m out.

Despite how messed up this world is, I’m happy. Life is good for me. Thank you God for being with me. But oh man, I just feel such compassion and sorrow for those girls.. I’m so sad for them..
I’m thinking of writing up my testimony sometime. I think it’s time. I feel like I’ve just grown up a little, and my views are clear right now. I know my morals, my love, my standards, my Jesus. I love you.