This is what I have!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblyopia

I have always said I have a lazy eye, but that my brain doesn’t recognize the images that come from it. When I close my right eye (my good eye), it’s hard to read or see out of my left eye.  It’s as if the image is clouded with blackness… the blackness my brain is receiving from the closed eye. No matter what, my brain only wants to use my right eye. If I close my right eye,  I don’t have the same depth perception, and can hardly feel safe driving that way. With my left eye closed, nothing changes. I literally don’t see any differently.
When I read using my left eye only, it’s difficult to comprehend what the words even mean. It’s so hard to read them.

So, I know what it is at least now.

It’s getting worse. I think I’ll have a permanently lazy eye eventually.

I don’t know, maybe Lasik helps.

This is all very sad.

 

*Update*

 

No, no, way worse actually. I’m very likely to eventually go blind in my left eye.

So I downloaded Headline Hack, https://s3.amazonaws.com/boostblogtraffic/Headline-Hacks-03-10-2012.pdf, in order to help brainstorm some new ideas. This coincides perfectly with CP asking me to create original headlines for my own pieces.

 

I wrote down 30 so far.

The Shocking Way Your Mind is Working Against You

My natural instincts tell me to meekly bring up what’s bothering me, if brought up at all, and to apologize for feeling the way that I do and to then quickly try to brush the entire thing over and say “I love you”.

I’m not listening to those instincts, trying not to anyway, but like, that’s what my mind tells me to do. Which is retarded.

I’m only like this with people I date btw. With other people I’m not meek at all.

Since Mark and I haven’t really ever fought, I haven’t had the opportunity to make an idiot out of myself yet, and I’m trying to keep from ever being anything but confident about the way I feel.

Which is a silly thing to have to work on, but it’s a part of me, so what can I do.

I lost five pounds in the first 9 days of Weight Watchers. My goal for the following 9 days was to lose an additional 5 pounds. Then I would start incorporating excercise into my weightloss.

But this weekend happened, and I think I probably gained back those five pounds. I need to figure out how to keep this up Friday through Sunday. I’m great during the rest of the week.

Either way, it’s almost summer, I’m pale and kind of chubby….

I’m also exhausted today.

But I’m so happy. This weather is gorgeous.

I have no idea what I came here to say.

I got an iPhone yesterday. I am in love with it right now.

MAY 2006 – APRIL 2012

I quit Chili’s today. I need to sink or swim here. I need to make money off of my writing. I need to literally make things that make money. CREATE DOLLARS. if I stay at chilis, I am good enough on money to be poor without starving.

Im scared, because I don’t make a lot. But I need to struggle. Without struggle, where’s the incentive? If i HAVE to make more money I will, but it won’t be through slinging terrible food at people.

I have support and love around me.

But I am too comfortable.

I need to be uncomfortable.

Also, this quarter-life-crisis, so far, has been the best thing to happen to me in a long time.